So, today is Friday and I wasn't sure when I'd get a chance to run. Hugh had his 9 month appointment this morning, and then I had to be home at 11 for Gus to get off the bus. I wanted to go as soon as he got home, but Monika came over with my money (for my photo shoot that I did on Sunday) and she stayed until after 12.
I decided at 12:45 that I'd just go and get it over with so I could relax for the rest of the day.
I don't know what the heck I was thinking. It was a bad idea and as soon as I pulled into the park, a fear crept over me... "Please God, don't let today be as bad as the Friday two weeks ago."
I got the boys out and loaded into the double jogger.
It was 1pm and HOT. What was I thinking?!?! Hugh started crying the minute I started and he didn't stop. Do you know how hard it is to focus on running while you're nine month old is screaming like someone is torturing him?
It was horrible. Simply horrible.
I couldn't focus, I was exhausted before I even started. I kept trying to calm him down and he wouldn't stop crying. He was hot, I was hot. He was in desperate need of a nap and I thought he'd nap in the stroller, but he was too hot with the hot sun beating down on him.
I ended up going so slowly. I went 1.28 miles and walker 0.80 at 23.25 min and ran 0.48 at 18:50. It was not good.
So I came home very tired, sweaty, and just overwhelmed. I'm glad I went, but I hate running with the boys. I just can't focus and I end up pushing 80 pounds... it's too much.
As soon as we got home, Hugh crashed. He had a flu shot and hemoglobin check today, so that could be part of his overall unhappiness.
I will be repeating week three next week because I am not ready to run five minutes straight. I can't even run three minutes straight, so I know five isn't possible yet.
Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like it's a ridiculous notion to think that I'll be able to run a 5k next month. I pray that a good run comes my way soon, because I don't know if mentally I can handle feeling like crap after I run each time. I just get so disappointed and feel like I suck.
This image is the one that scares the crap out of me. Oy.
And last but not least...
