Blah.

This picture is my current motivation. I don't want to die young and I want to live a healthy, productive life. I want Gus to see that I'm active and exercising.


This morning was hard. I did NOT want to wake up. While getting up at 5:15 for a 5:30 run has so many more advantages than running at 9:00, it's still REALLY HARD to get up so early. 


I didn't want to wake up and Steve was so supportive and really pushed me/motivated me to get up and get going. As I headed out the door, I was still 1/2 asleep, which led to me not "feeling it" today.


I guess some days are good and some are bad. My knees started to hurt while I was running today, and I missed the first 1.5 minute run so it screwed up my entire morning run. I was sluggish and slow and had a lot of negative thoughts going through my head.


I've said it before, 99% of running is mental. Today wasn't a good day mentally. 


I'm now super tired and just want to crawl back into bed. Fortunately, today we have no plans and I can just loaf around if I want. I think I will. 

A Hard Run

Today was rough.

Instead of waking around 5:15 and having some time to stretch, get ready, WAKE UP... Steve's alarm woke both of us from a deep sleep at 5:30. By the time I actually knew what was going on, it was 5:35 and I needed to get out of bed.

My iPhone running band came yesterday, so I was excited to have it this morning for my run. I loaded my phone and headed out. 

I was pleasantly surprised at how cool it was when I started my warm-up. I think it was like 62 or something like that, which is so much better than 80.  :-)

I had to change my route a bit to make sure that I was getting enough distance in, but this morning it didn't matter. I was going so slow... and it's a miracle that I was able to complete the whole workout without cheating or stopping. 

I know that 99% of what I face is mental. However, my legs were like cement again and when this happens, it's so hard to push through the pain. It's days like today that I feel discouraged and upset with my weight and curse myself for not losing more and not dropping the weight faster.

But a few things happened during my run that actually made me proud of myself. First, When I got to the first 1.5 minute run, it seemed like it was over in a blink. Now, you might not think this is a big deal, but not too long ago, I was DYING trying to run 1.5 minutes. This morning, it was cake. I felt like I was just getting started and then it was time to walk.

I was able to run all morning without looking at my phone to see how much I had left to endure. This is a milestone for me. I was just running and trying to enjoy it.  ;-)

I found myself able to focus on my breathing today and it helped with keeping me going. I tried to push myself to go faster today as well. It didn't pan out too well, but I tried. It was so hard though.

I was able to get home and had a few minutes to spare before Steve had to leave. I was so worried that I'd make him late for leaving for work because I didn't get started with my run until 5:40.

I got in the shower and then laid down and I fell asleep. It was an hour of peace and tranquility and it made my whole day better. As someone who is NOT a morning person, the nap after my run and shower was the best thing ever.

When I woke up to Gus talking to himself, I decided to bite the bullet and do my weigh-in. To my utter surprise, I lost another pound! I'm now down nine pounds!! I'm very excited about it AND today was my cheat day (not calorie counting today). Not only did I not have to worry about calories at Christy's when we had a potluck lunch (always so hard), but we went to Outback to celebrate Father's Day... AND we went to DQ after for dessert!! So many good things in one day!!

I'm eager to take the weekend off and relax, and then I'll be back to running on Monday. I'll be finishing week 3 day 3, and then I'll be repeating again until I feel comfortable running three minutes. I'm scared for week 4-- it's running for 3 minutes, walking for 1.5, running for 5 minutes, walking for 2.5, running for 3 minutes, walking for 1.5 minutes, running for 5 minutes and the 5 minute cool-down.

I Did It!

Seriously.

If I had known last night that I'd be getting up at 5:15 to prepare for a run, I would have come to bed at 9:30 instead of at 11:30.

I had no intentions of running today. After all, it IS Tuesday and those of you who know me well, know that I run on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. So when I woke at 5am to use the bathroom, I was certain that it was 2 or even 3 am, but it was 5.

Hmmmm.

So I crawled back into bed and ran over various thoughts, and decided to prepare myself mentally to go run. Toady was going to be the start of my new week on C25K and as eager as I was to test it out and see how it felt, it was a bit scary too. Could I really run for three straight minutes? And could I do it twice???

Steve got up at 5:20 and I took that as my cue. As he was getting into the shower, I stepped out the front door. No turning back.

It was DARK. I mean, REALLY dark. We live in a very safe place, so I wasn't worried about safety at all, but the encompassing darkness sent my senses reeling.

Today was full of a lot of firsts for me:

• First time running at 5:30am
• First time running in my neighborhood (with LOTS of hills-- versus the flat greenway)
• First time running in the dark
• First time running with music (YAY)
• First time doing week 3 of the C25K program
• First time running ALONE. COMPLETELY alone.

That's a lot of firsts for one run don't you think? 

I have to say, I love running with Pilar and Christy, but there was something wonderful about running by myself. I thoroughly enjoyed my music and letting the beat of my songs motivate me to run faster (and I do believe I ran faster today). I also didn't have to push a stroller AND a squirmy 30 pound toddler!

While I was running in the dark, a strange sense of calm came over me. I said a prayer before starting out this morning, and asked God to help make this a good run for me. There's nothing worse than a bad run and feeling like you've got legs like cement and no strength and no motivation.

Today was good. I really enjoyed myself (weird right???). I could hear my dad asking me, "Did you run today?" and having to answer him. Sometimes the pressure is a lot to deal with, but I am so grateful for all the people that keep me accountable, AND encourage and motivate me.

There's no way I'm going to do a 5K if I don't train for it. There's no way I'm going to lose weight, if I don't move my body. So getting out and actually moving isn't an option, I simply MUST stay focused and must stay determined. With family and friends taking a keen interest in my running, it's helped tremendously.

SO back to me and my run...  ;-)

I really liked this week's training. I started with the five minute walk (it's standard for every week of the program) and by the time I got to the sidewalk around the corner, I was breathing really heavy (I had to go uphill to get to the sidewalk). Then I walked downhill to Sargent road. 

Now... I had previously mapped out my run (not very well apparently), and throught if I made it all so the uphill was at the beginning, it'd be perfect to end with going downhill. Perfect logic right??

Well... my logic was correct, but my speed and timing was not so great. It took the five minute warm-up to reach Sargent and I headed toward Jones Bridge Road. I passed one runner, but other than that, the road was very empty and I was alone with the darkness. It was interesting.

The stretch along Sargent is relatively flat and even, and I was able to do my 1.5 minute run, 1.5 minute walk, and 3 minute run. I finished the run as I approached my turn and then it was uphill for a bit, but I was in the 3 minute walk part. Here's where the problem happened.

I was almost home.

So... I was 1/2 done with my run and almost home. No bueno.

I decided to turn around, and go back the way I came. Which would have been great, if it weren't for the damn hills. LOL

So I started my next 1.5 minute run and then 1.5 minute walk and I was back on Sargent for my 3 minute run. I reached the entrance to my sub and still had a 3 minute walk to complete and the 5 minute cool-down walk. I didn't think I'd have enough pavement to complete my run, and I wouldn't have, if it weren't for the damn hills.

Holy smokes. My three minute walk at the end was all uphill and what took two minutes to walk down, took the full three minutes to walk up and another two minutes of my cool-down. It was, in a word, a BITCH.

I had a downhill walk to my street, and then as my street curves to my house, there's a gradual incline. Not much if you're in a car, but when you're at the end of a run, it was almost a killer. Then the cherry on top is the steepness of my driveway. I had to mentally push myself as I took each step up my driveway-- it was rough!!

I completed just under a mile and a half and didn't skimp AT ALL on my running times. I am SO proud of myself. I was a sweaty beast when I was done, but I finished it and at 6:10 I was sitting down with Steve and enjoying a bowl of Cheerios. 

So my run for the day is done and I feel great. It's 7:14 and I've showered, I'm blogging, Gus is still sleeping, and my day has started. It's awesome.

For as hard as it was to wake at 5am to run, I'm so glad that I did. I'm definitely a fan of running without pushing the stroller and having to worry about Gus. Running this morning was "me time" and I really enjoyed being at one with myself and just taking in all the sights around me. I didn't have to talk to anyone, and I was able to just focus on my breathing.

Today I burned 451 calories. My max heart rate was 167 and my average was 126. I was "in the zone" for 25 minutes (I ran for 30). I'm impressed!

I'm eager to do nothing for the rest of the day and lounge around in my comfy clothes.

It's fine... I ran today.

:-)

A Morning Run??

Last night I had EVERY intention of getting up at 5:30 and going for a run. I had told Steve my plan and asked him to wake me when he was getting up-- that way I'd have time to get myself ready and then be out the door by 5:30. 


I'm on week three of the Couch 2 5K program and today's run was going to be walking for 5 minutes, jogging for 3 minutes, walking for 3 minutes, jogging for 1.5 minutes, walking for 1.5 minutes, jogging for 5 minutes, walking for 5 minutes, jogging for 1.5 minutes, walking for 5 minutes and a 5 minute cool-down. I was actually a little excited to start this new "round" and see how I did. 


Well... between the torrential downpour this morning AND Steve coming and waking me at 5:50... I didn't get out to run. When I asked him what time it was, he said, "5:50" and I knew there was no way I could go. It takes me thirty minutes and he HAS to leave the house no later than 6:20. I was still laying in bed, so I'd have to get ready and that would be at least 5-10 minutes and that'd make him late for work.


SIGH


So instead I said, "Okay... I'll just go later tonight." Well, it's been raining ALL. DAY. No kidding. 


I am determined to give this a try-- a solid effort (I mean I even went to bed at 9:30 last night so I'd be well-rested to run) and I shall try again Wednesday. (Why not tomorrow you ask??? Yep. You guessed it, RAIN.)

Ready for Week 3??

I didn't go for a run on Wednesday because Gus and I have been sick. I have had a headache and just felt run-down, so I decided on Wednesday that I wasn't going to do anything. We didn't go to my MOMS Club event and we stayed home and rested. It felt great.


I was ready to get back out today and thankfully, Pilar met me at the Greenway at 9am so we could go. I did week 2 again, and did the full minute and a half each cycle. I'm so proud of myself!!


So I think on Monday, I'm going to attempt week three. It's a five-minute warm up and then two repetitions of the following: jog for 1.5 minutes, walk for 1.5 minutes, jog for THREE minutes, walk for three minutes. We'll see... it's a 28 minute workout but I'm not sure about the distance. So far I've been getting about a mile and a half (1/2 way to a 5k) and it's been challenging.


I am contemplating running (alone) in the mornings when Steve gets up. It'd be like 5am and should be cool outside... and I could run without Gus (it's a lot of extra work to push a 30 pound child in a jogging stroller). Maybe just for July and August I could try it... I do LOVE running with Pilar and Christy, it's just hard with Gus sleeping until 8:30 and then by the time I get him up and dressed, it's a quick breakfast in the car while we drive the 25 minutes to the Greenway. By the time we actually start running, it's already in the mid 70s and humid. It's only going to get worse as we get into the summer.


So we'll see. I'm still waiting on Christy to give me her code to join the Y. Once I can join the Y, it'll be awesome because I can take Gus with me and go work out while he plays in the kid zone (it's supervised). Christy said she didn't know if they'd be sending out codes during the summer though, so I might have to wait until the fall. I think it's worth waiting because it's 20% and would make our monthly fee like $60. :-)


Anyway- I ran today and while I was super slow, I did it and when I finished I was glad that I did it. I'm looking forward to the zoo tomorrow and we'll get to walk around (I'll get to be active) and then we'll see what happens on Monday.

Rainy Run

This morning I ran in the rain. It wasn't raining when I started, but by the time I got into my run, it had started to sprinkle and then come down pretty hard towards the end. 

It was so much harder to run today. I felt tired, heavy, and had legs like cement again. In my head, as I was packing up my stuff to leave for my run, I kept saying, "It's fine, you can just walk today." But when I got there, I decided to just try running and see how I felt. 

Don't get me wrong, I was not enjoying myself, but I ran the full 90 seconds each cycle just like last week. I still cannot picture myself running for five minutes, much less ten or twenty.

I still don't get how people can just get up and go run. I'm not in that mind-set yet. I'm still in the baby-steps, gotta take it a day at a time, mentality. We'll see what Wednesday brings.

On a positive note, there's a chance that my dad and my cousin will be coming down to run the Color Run with me in Charlotte. I've asked them both about it and Jes is looking into it, and my dad just laughed when I asked him. Not sure if he knows I was being serious about it, but I think it'd be so fun. Steve and Gus are going to come with me and hopefully, we can make a nice weekend getaway out of it. I think it'd be fun with my mom and dad, and maybe Jes and her family will want to do it too.

We'll see. I'm tired though and I'm off to relax.

Back on Track

So our vacation to MI and IN has come and gone, and I'm pleased to announce that I only gained 1/2 a pound while we were gone. Not too bad. I will say that I tried to make good choices when it came to dining out (except for those fried pickles at Sidetracks) and I was able to go running with my dad and we got outside and played soccer and enjoyed ourselves at the park many times on our vacation.

Today I met Pilar and Christy at the Greenway and I decided to move into week 2 of the C25K program. For the last almost month, I've been repeating week one over and over. I started doing 30 seconds of jogging with a minute and a half of walking. Then we moved to 45 seconds of jogging and a minute and a half of walking. I did that for two weeks and then I tried one full minute of jogging with a minute and a half of walking, but it was really rough to sustain a full minute of jogging.

Today, my friends, I pushed myself the farthest so far, and I was able (for EVERY cycle) to do a minute and a half of jogging with two minutes of walking. I was so proud of myself. I had not been able to do a full minute for every cycle (there are usually 7 cycles), so pushing myself to do a minute and a half was incredible.

I'm not TOO excited about it because in the big scheme of things, it was not much, but for me it was tremendous. A month ago I wouldn't have guessed that I'd be able to run for a full minute and a half without dying. 

I was a sweaty beast today. It was hot and humid and I think we're going to have to do something about getting out earlier. I don't know how this will effect Gus and his sleeping. I don't want to have to wake him to go run, but I don't want to be running in the heat either. So I don't know what I'm going to do.

I burned 923 calories this morning. I started my monitor at 8 and then turned it off when I got home at 12. I ran from 9-9:45 and then headed to Kathryn's for a meeting and worked on some MOMS Club things with her. By the time I got home it was 12 and I was amazed to see 923 calories burned. 

I was in the zone for an hour and six minutes, and my highest heart rate was 168 and my average was 123. I'm not as sore as I thought I'd be, but my thighs are a wee bit sore. It feels good though, and I have to stay focused on the big picture... I WILL RUN A 5K.

The Color Run (the race that got me off my arse) is going to be in Charlotte, NC (three hours north of us) at the end of October and first Saturday in November. I think I'm going to do it. Lacey said she'd do it with me and Steve said he'd like to come and cheer me on. I think we'll get a hotel for the weekend and make a nice get away. I'm eager and nervous and excited. 

This is my new mantra. I have come too far to stop now... and I feel liberated knowing that I'm doing something for ME that's going to help me get fit and healthy.