Can It Get Worse?

For real.

So, today is Friday and I wasn't sure when I'd get a chance to run. Hugh had his 9 month appointment this morning, and then I had to be home at 11 for Gus to get off the bus. I wanted to go as soon as he got home, but Monika came over with my money (for my photo shoot that I did on Sunday) and she stayed until after 12.

I decided at 12:45 that I'd just go and get it over with so I could relax for the rest of the day.

I don't know what the heck I was thinking. It was a bad idea and as soon as I pulled into the park, a fear crept over me... "Please God, don't let today be as bad as the Friday two weeks ago."

I got the boys out and loaded into the double jogger.

It was 1pm and HOT. What was I thinking?!?! Hugh started crying the minute I started and he didn't stop. Do you know how hard it is to focus on running while you're nine month old is screaming like someone is torturing him?

It was horrible. Simply horrible. 

I couldn't focus, I was exhausted before I even started. I kept trying to calm him down and he wouldn't stop crying. He was hot, I was hot. He was in desperate need of  a nap and I thought he'd nap in the stroller, but he was too hot with the hot sun beating down on him.

I ended up going so slowly. I went 1.28 miles and walker 0.80 at 23.25 min and ran 0.48 at 18:50. It was not good.

So I came home very tired, sweaty, and just overwhelmed. I'm glad I went, but I hate running with the boys. I just can't focus and I end up pushing 80 pounds... it's too much.
 

As soon as we got home, Hugh crashed. He had a flu shot and hemoglobin check today, so that could be part of his overall unhappiness. 

I will be repeating week three next week because I am not ready to run five minutes straight. I can't even run three minutes straight, so I know five isn't possible yet.

Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like it's a ridiculous notion to think that I'll be able to run a 5k next month. I pray that a good run comes my way soon, because I don't know if mentally I can handle feeling like crap after I run each time. I just get so disappointed and feel like I suck.

 This image is the one that scares the crap out of me. Oy.

And last but not least...

Another Tough One

I did not want to run last night. I was still sore from Monday and I just didn't have the drive or motivation to go. However, I have other people that I'm running with and I knew they were going to be there and I didn't want to let anyone down, or have anyone ask why I wasn't coming. I honestly didn't have a good excuse, and I couldn't imagine any of them being okay with any sad excuse that I may have tried to use.

So I went.

I did W3D2 and it was as difficult as Monday's run, but I did a MUCH better job than W3D1. Here's a chart of my progression thus far:

When I look at the progress from run to run, I notice that while I've always through that Monday was my best running day, it's the slowest, I am very surprised to see that last night's run was my fastest running pace so far. 

Last night it was just me, Lesley, and Stacey. It was W3D1 for Lesley, and she and Stacey ran together. For the most part, the three of us stayed together through the entire run, but the last 3 minute run is where they took a big lead on me. I pushed through and didn't stop or cheat, but they were faster.

Here's something that I really love about running this time- I love that it's getting cooler and not hotter. :-) When we started out our run, I was actually a bit chilly. Obviously, when we finished I felt like I was on fire, but it was so nice to run and feel a cool breeze and not sweltering heat.

I got home and got in the shower and crashed into bed. When Steve got me up this morning at 6:20, I was out cold. It took all that I had in me to get out of bed. I could have slept for another few hours.

I wasn't sure what I'll do about tomorrow, since no one is planning on running at 8pm, but I think I'll take Gus and Hugh in the double (after Gus gets home from school), and do my run with them. It's only 30 minutes and I *think* I can do it. If I need to walk, I'll walk, but I don't want to not do anything and I don't want to go tomorrow night alone.

I'm quite sore this morning. My calf hurts. I think I pulled something in my calves because both Monday and yesterday, they've hurt after running. 

I will say that I'm proud of myself. When I ran last year, for whatever reason, I only ended up running twice a week with Pilar and Christy. This year, I've been running for three weeks and three days a week. Even without any major running, I'm still doing more exercise now than I have in a really long time. I just wish my scale would reflect my hard work. Still no changes and still says I've gained a few instead of losing.

To all my loyal readers (hahahaha), thanks for your continued support. I always have these grandiose thoughts about running 5ks when I'm not running. It's when I'm actually running, that I think, "What the heck am I doing?!? How can I actually do a 5k?!?!" It'll be interesting for sure. 

Until next time...
>^..^<

Exhausted

I'm going to start with a warning that this post is going to be a little on the negative side.

 
I am definitely feeling like Homer today. I just didn't have a lot of energy to run tonight and I knew I was going to be attempting W3D1 and I think I mentally built up a resistance for running tonight. Don't get me wrong, I still did it, but I was tired before I even started.

 I know that some days are going to be more difficult and challenging than others, and today was definitely one of those days. I was tired when I woke up this morning, and it stayed with me all day. I made scallops with angel hair pasta for dinner, but it didn't satisfy my hunger, and so I felt hungry after dinner. I'm sure it was better for me to run on an emptier stomach, but it didn't give me the energy that I desperately needed tonight.

Tonight it was me, Lesley, Jo, and Stacey. Lesley was on W2D3, so she and Jo went their way and Stacey and I set off to start W3D1. 

Holy Smokes.

It was a five minute warm-up followed by a 1.5 minute run, 1.5 minute walk, then 3 minute run, and 3 minute walk, repeated twice and then finish with a five minute cool down walk. 

Here's the strange part. I only ran 1.52 miles today. I've been doing 1.8 or so, and tonight I ran more than before (more at once), and yet it was a shorter distance. Maybe it's because it was only 28 minutes total versus 32?

My walking distance was 0.97 at 19:42 pace and then running distance was 0.54 at 16:44 pace. 

I will say that I did not walk any more than was in the plan. I ran for the full three minutes each time and while I felt like I was going to die, I did it and didn't give up. That's saying something, right? 

Week three was definitely hard, but I liked that it was over quickly. Lesley still had her cool down when I was finishing mine. I will say, I run and walk slowly, so that's part of why my time is what it is. But, you know what I have to keep reminding myself of? I AM RUNNING. At least I'm doing something and I'm burning calories and I'm not competing with anyone by myself.

I don't know how I'm going to run a 5k, but I guess I will just have to do it. I feel like if I had to double what I did tonight, I wouldn't make it. My calves hurt so bad and I even stretched them a lot today. Not sure what's causing them to cramp up like they are. Stacey suggested doing a warm up and then stretching and then walking.

It wasn't too bad tonight, just a little humid. The park was pretty empty, which was nice. I'm dreading October when Steve is traveling... not sure what I'll do. I think I'll probably have to run with the boys during the day. Maybe right after Gus gets home from school so I can be done with my run for the day and then let him play at the park for a little before coming home for naps.

 
I'm exhausted and my legs feel like cement. I know this is a normal feeling, because one of my tags for posts is "Legs like cement." Glad to know it's not unusual. Just got to go relax and fall asleep and then hopefully tomorrow I won't be super sore.

Horrible Run

Friday morning was rough. I had asked everyone if they wanted to run with me and everyone had a reason that they couldn't. So I had a choice to make. I could stay home or find the motivation and go. 

I loaded the single jogging stroller into the car, loaded Hugh, and we headed to Ocee Park. It's now my favorite place to go and run.

We got to the park after fighting hellish traffic. I had stretched for about 20 minutes at home prior to leaving, so I felt good. I loaded Hugh into the stroller, got my music set up on my phone, and we set off.

Hugh wasn't sure what to think, but he seemed really happy. I was two cycles into my run when I noticed that my stroller was wobbly. Three cycles in and I started to hear a weird dragging sound, and when I looked, I noticed that not only did I have ONE flat tire, but I had TWO flat tires.

I had to continue, but it was brutal. Not only was it making a really horrible noise, but it was heavy and hard to push and steer. I made it around once, and stopped at my car to put Hugh back into his infant carrier and put him into the frame stroller.

He was quite unhappy to leave the jogger and head into the carrier. He screamed and screamed, and all the while, I was sweating, and tired, and sore.

I could have just called it a morning right then and there, but I decided to keep going and finish my run. Well, Hugh was not happy about my choice. I got 1/2 way around the loop and he was done. So I had to cut my run short and head back to the car as quickly as I could.

I finished by 9 and I had run just over a mile. I was exhausted from having to push Hugh and then change strollers and then deal with his screaming. It wasn't the best run, but as I drove home, I was happy that I at least tried. I am now free to relax until Monday night. 

I woke up this morning SO SORE. My arms really hurt from pushing the stroller. I guess muscle pain is a good thing because it means I'm doing something right!!

A Hard Run

Today was rough.

Instead of waking around 5:15 and having some time to stretch, get ready, WAKE UP... Steve's alarm woke both of us from a deep sleep at 5:30. By the time I actually knew what was going on, it was 5:35 and I needed to get out of bed.

My iPhone running band came yesterday, so I was excited to have it this morning for my run. I loaded my phone and headed out. 

I was pleasantly surprised at how cool it was when I started my warm-up. I think it was like 62 or something like that, which is so much better than 80.  :-)

I had to change my route a bit to make sure that I was getting enough distance in, but this morning it didn't matter. I was going so slow... and it's a miracle that I was able to complete the whole workout without cheating or stopping. 

I know that 99% of what I face is mental. However, my legs were like cement again and when this happens, it's so hard to push through the pain. It's days like today that I feel discouraged and upset with my weight and curse myself for not losing more and not dropping the weight faster.

But a few things happened during my run that actually made me proud of myself. First, When I got to the first 1.5 minute run, it seemed like it was over in a blink. Now, you might not think this is a big deal, but not too long ago, I was DYING trying to run 1.5 minutes. This morning, it was cake. I felt like I was just getting started and then it was time to walk.

I was able to run all morning without looking at my phone to see how much I had left to endure. This is a milestone for me. I was just running and trying to enjoy it.  ;-)

I found myself able to focus on my breathing today and it helped with keeping me going. I tried to push myself to go faster today as well. It didn't pan out too well, but I tried. It was so hard though.

I was able to get home and had a few minutes to spare before Steve had to leave. I was so worried that I'd make him late for leaving for work because I didn't get started with my run until 5:40.

I got in the shower and then laid down and I fell asleep. It was an hour of peace and tranquility and it made my whole day better. As someone who is NOT a morning person, the nap after my run and shower was the best thing ever.

When I woke up to Gus talking to himself, I decided to bite the bullet and do my weigh-in. To my utter surprise, I lost another pound! I'm now down nine pounds!! I'm very excited about it AND today was my cheat day (not calorie counting today). Not only did I not have to worry about calories at Christy's when we had a potluck lunch (always so hard), but we went to Outback to celebrate Father's Day... AND we went to DQ after for dessert!! So many good things in one day!!

I'm eager to take the weekend off and relax, and then I'll be back to running on Monday. I'll be finishing week 3 day 3, and then I'll be repeating again until I feel comfortable running three minutes. I'm scared for week 4-- it's running for 3 minutes, walking for 1.5, running for 5 minutes, walking for 2.5, running for 3 minutes, walking for 1.5 minutes, running for 5 minutes and the 5 minute cool-down.

Legs Like Concrete

I've read that runners have their ups and downs and good days and bad. So far I've had pretty good days, with the exception of my very first day out. Today was rough.

We decided to meet at the Marconi Drive entrance to the Greenway today. None of us had been on this particular part of the Greenway. It was pretty, and there was a gorgeous bridge to cross, but it was a lot hillier and had more curves than the Haynes Bridge portion.

My legs felt like concrete and I found it so hard to stay focused and not feel like I was dying. I used my heart monitor watch today for my workout and I was pleased to see that I was "in the zone" for 31 minutes and 35 seconds. During my walgging, my heart rate was an average of 116 and my max was 166. Must have been all those hills and switchbacks at the end. :-)

I can't complain too much. I had my monitor running from the time I got up, until we left the greenway, and when I checked my calories burned, it was 640. I love that it's accurate to my body and it gave me some motivation.

I'm eager to spend the next two days "resting up" a bit before Monday. I weigh-in on Sunday and I'm praying that I lost something. Even if it's only 1/2 a pound again, it's something.